For those of you that are old enough to remember the Chevy Chase/Gregory Hines/Sigourney Weaver film 'Deal Of The Century. I think this is a suitable quote.
Eddie Muntz, played by Chevy Chase, a smug arms dealer, and a really smooth as silk salesman, helps peddle a $300M drone from the fictitious company called 'Luckup Corporation'. In the process, he has Catherine DeVoto (Weaver) jump in the sack with a Banana Republic Dictator to help broker the deal. At one point in the movie, Ray Kasternak (Hines) gets pissed off at someone in a parking lot, takes a flame thrower out of the back of his car and torches the other guy's car with it. He uses the phrase "...needs a little touch-up....just a little..." and blasts the guys car with his flame thrower.
Later on in the movie, he is flying a jet fighter and someone is trying to shoot him down with the 'Peacemaker' (see image above). Eddie messes up the remote controls and the drone flies out of control and Kasternak gets a target lock on the drone and just before he destroys it, he says "...I think it needs a little touch-up..." ..and then blows it out of the sky.
This dit is about me giving someone and their family a 'little touch-up'. I did not burn anyone or blow them up. I felt it necessary to put a teenage boy and his family in their place.
Last Sunday was Mother's Day. I like to take Cathy, her mom and the kids out for a quiet dinner. We normally go to some out-of-the-way place as I lose patience quickly with crowds and they stress my son out a little. For those of you that know me, my 12 year old son has ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder). Some days are better than others for him, sometimes he can be so manic that just being in the same room with him can be exhausting. Some days, he is really calm, really collective and really together. He cannot deal with stress and anxiety like most 'typical' folks. One of his coping skills is that he talks to himself - out loud. Sometimes singing, sometimes talking about something that happened earlier that day, or even a week ago - you get the idea.
We were at this quaint little Mom-and-Pop place out in Epsom NH. The service is excellent, his prices are fair and the food is all made from scratch. I have always loved the "non-corporate-evil-rubberstamp-cold-gimme-yer-money" places. Jordan had to go to the bathroom. I sent him in alone as it was in plain view with no 'escape routes' - not him I don't trust. Too many freakin' weirdos in the world - even out in BuFu, NH.
So, this family comes in, teenage son, grandparents, mom, dad, adult daughter with a baby and they all sat down near us. I saw the teenage son get up to go use the toilet. He comes out and announces, through laughter: "..HEY! There is some weirdo in the bathroom stall talking to himself....Ha! Weirdo!!"
Well, needless to say, I was pissed off. His parents said nothing, I heard a few giggles around the table and he was happy to be the center of attention. I think I was filled with anger and hurt. My first thought was to pummel that little shite into a greasy spot on the carpet, then go to work on his mom and dad for not correcting the behavior. Then to proceed to grab the coffee pot from the coffee station and pour it all over everyone's dinners. However, in the real world, you tend to get arrested for shit like that.
I waited, and waited, and waited - tried to let it go. No. Not gonna happen.
When we were about to leave, I told Cathy my dilemma. She looked at me and said "..if you are going to confront them, wait until I leave - confrontation makes me really uncomfortable."
I waited with Jordan - Cathy, Mikayla and her Mom left. I took Jordan by the hand and walked over to the table and stood glaring at the teenage son and his parents:
"Hey, you know that 'weirdo' in the bathroom that you announced to the restaurant?"
"yeah..", he giggled.
"..well, that 'weirdo' was my autistic son - he deals with stress and anxiety that way. You may want to engage your brain before opening your mouth in the future."
I glared at everyone around the table, the parents looked at me like I had just shot someone, the teenage son was clearly ashamed and embarrassed and the rest of the family was either frozen in mid-bite or had a look of "Jesus, I am gonna puke." on their faces. I stood there with Jordan for about another 10 or 15 seconds and none of them would look me in the eye.
Dead silence. Imagine a cartoon where everyone is trying not to look around and the only sound you hear is crickets chirping.
I walked away. I figured that I had tortured them enough. Now for the pathetic part:
I felt bad for what I did. Took me about 15-30 seconds to get to the door and outside of the restaurant. By the time I was outside, I wanted to go back and apologize. Cathy said "..no, he deserved it." Cathy's mom, Rae, said "...no Glen...people need to be told. You did the right thing."
Now, a side note from me: I am the first sonofabitch to poke fun at someone/something. However, I try to be much more incognito about it. I don't announce that there is a 'She-Man' at the next table, or the person stuffing their cake-hole with food and talking with their mouth full as bits of food fall out all over their shirt. I try to be subtle about it - not announcing it. Cathy, Rae and I get a little laugh out of it but I try to make sure no one else hears.
So, is this Karma biting me in the arse? Perhaps. It makes me think about what I need to do and say before I do an say it. So, perhaps this is a message? Does this make me a bad person? Well, I was brought up to be considerate of others. I don't think I am hurting anyone if they don't hear or see? I would never openly mock someone as a result of a disability or dysfunction. Jokes in the oasis of my car or house, but never where anyone else can hear.
However, if someone did that to me, I would probably have the same reaction. I would probably want to crawl under a rock.
So, I will continue to be careful not to piss people off too much.
Perhaps I should back off a little.
Glen
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